Dear Blogg Readers
Some of you may be wondering why the Belated Writer hasn’t done any Belated Writing for such a long time. She has asked me to let you know that it’s because she has had a Bad Back, which has meant she has spent a lot of time taking Pain-killers and lying down on top of a Hot Water Bottle or a packet of frozen Sweet-corn. (She has promised me that she won’t eat the Sweet-corn afterwards, because of Health and Safety.) The Pain-killers have sometimes made her rather sleepy and also a bit forgetful – though she is often that anyway – and she has told people she has not been quite her Usual Self. I’m not sure I know what her Usual Self is, except that normally she goes out a lot more and doesn’t spend so much time in Bed. It’s fortunate that my Husband and I have been able to keep her company beside the bedside, as it seems that Bad Backs can make people quite miserable sometimes.
As well as taking Pain-killers and spending a lot of time looking at things like Face Book and You Tube on account of not being able to think properly, the Belated Writer has been writing Poetry (or trying to – I still don’t think her Poems are a patch on my Husband’s beautiful Compositions). She has had to finish the Nodules for her Correspondence Course, which has been all about how Poems are made and how to write them. The strange thing about a Correspondence Course is that you don’t see the other students and only talk to the Tutor by E-mail, but perhaps there are real people there somewhere too. Some of the Poems the Belated Writer has written have also been a bit strange, if you ask me. There was one about a Pepper Mill and another one about black Mould. We have unfortunately had some of that in the Bathroom, but I wouldn’t have thought it was a subject for Poetry, would you? I think Poetry should be about Serious Things like Love and being miserable and the Meaning of Life, or at least about Nature and so on. The Belated Writer once wrote a Poem about Vegetable Soup where all the naked Vegetables got together, and I didn’t think that was in very good Taste. (My Husband has told me I have just made a Pun. I’m not sure what it is.)
Anyway, I’ve told you now why the Belated Writer has been neglecting her Blogg and I hope you will understand. I think she will probably tell you more about it herself quite soon, but in the meantime I do like to be helpful. I hope I have put the Belated Writer straight about Poetry as well, as she does get some funny ideas sometimes. (She doesn’t mind me saying this as she knows I like her to Do Things Properly.)
It’s been very nice to talk to you again. I wish you well with your Poetry, if you write it.