This time, some words from Adelina A. Vark.
My name is Adelina and I’m an Aardvark. It’s lovely to have the chance to write a Blogg. I’m not exactly sure what that is, but I think it was invented by Mr Joe Bloggs – or was it Mr Fred Bloggs? Perhaps somebody can tell me. I will have to be quite careful what I say, though, as I have always known the person who owns this Blogg under a different name, which she doesn’t want me to write here in case somebody from her other work finds out who she is. (She is actually a Spycho-therapist, but I’m not supposed to tell you that.) I find it very confusing, I must say, that one person should be two people, though apparently Writers sometimes do become somebody else who is called a Gnome de Plum. But then of course they are a bit strange. I think it must be because they spend so much time making things up and inventing fictitional people, who I believe they call Characters. Some people think I’m a fictitional Character, but I have my picture on Face Book so you can see I’m real. Elaine (as she calls herself here) asked if she could put my photo there instead of hers so that people wouldn’t recognise her. I was happy to help, of course, but it’s quite nice for a change not to pretend to be somebody else.
As far as I know, this Blogg is meant to be all about Writing and things like that. I’m not really a Writer but I do like writing letters to friends, especially if I have lots of interesting Information to give them. I think Writers have a very hard job, having to put down such a lot of words that all make sense, and then having to take most of them out again because they’ve written too many and Cutting is supposed to be a good thing. And then of course they have to try to find somebody called an Agent who will sell their Book for them, and that can be hard too as not all Agents want the Books that people have written, even if they are very good. It all seems to be about something called a Market, but I’m not sure where that’s held or how people get to it. A Book Agent doesn’t seem to have a shop like an Estate Agent, but instead has to sell the books to people called Publishers who pay Writers for their Manu-scripts so they can make them into proper Books which can be sold in Book Shops. (I thought a Manu-script was something that was hand-written, but these days everybody seems to write things on Computers.) It all seems very difficult to me, especially as the poor Writer doesn’t usually make very much money out of it and then has to pay the Agent as well. The money the Writer gets paid is called Royalty, so perhaps that means they have to pay the Queen too. Or is it the Queen who pays them? Or is it that if they sell an awful lot of books they become famous like Royalty? Anyway, if they don’t sell many Books they don’t get very much Royalty, and so they have to go on trying to write more Books.
After all that, I’m not sure I can understand why people want to keep writing Books, especially Poetry which doesn’t seem to make any money at all. All the students on the MA course at that university in The Bath were doing it, though, and some of them have got Distinctions (which means their work is very distinct) and found Agents and even won Prizes. If they do well and become famous, they may even get what I believe is called Public Marmalade, which seems to be a special kind of marmalade that you have to be awarded and can’t buy in a shop. Most people don’t seem to mind so much about the Public Marmalade, though. They just want to sell their Books so that people can read them. I think I can understand that, as it is nice to have your words read. I’m hoping some people will read this Blogg and learn more about Writing and Publishing.
Oh well, I think perhaps I had better stop as I’ve written quite a lot of words. I have enjoyed writing to you all. If you write Books, I do hope they get Published and earn you lots of Royalty.
Goodbye for now.